Coconut Crabs

This is not a movie prop or a sick joke. This is a coconut crab (Birgus Latro). The coconut crab is the largest terrestrial anthropod in the world. This means that a coconut crab is freakin' huge and you will either run or just cry and give up if you see one.

It's related to the hermit crab and it gets its name for its ability to crack coconuts with its pincers in order to eat the coconut meat. Sidenote: Would it be mean if two hermit crabs were forced to live together? I digress.

Two July Fourths ago, we bought a coconut for an impromptu barbecue. We were thinking a pint of coconut milk and coconut shavings would be tasty on the salmon fillets. Little did we know that getting a coconut open is difficult. Three simians in a kitchen full of advanced kitchenwares. We were squatting on the ground basically rolling the coconut to each other and taking turns wacking it with a stick. We ended up with a teaspoon of juice and a pinch of usable shavings. It was the most frustrating pinata nature could have designed.

Here's a description of how the coconut crab opens its coconuts:

The crab has developed a special technique to do so: if the coconut is still covered with husk, it will use its claws to rip off strips, always starting from the side with the three germination pores, the group of three small circles found on the outside of the coconut. Once the pores are visible, the crab will bang its pincers on one of them until they break. Afterwards, it will turn around and use the smaller pincers on its other legs to pull out the white flesh of the coconut. Using their strong claws, larger individuals can even break the hard coconut into smaller pieces for easier consumption.

Just read that in the Yucatan, coconut crabs "would cruise the patios of our first floor rooms early every morning looking for just a crack in any door to get into the room to steal snacks! They're strong enough to open a sliding glass door if they can get a grip."

I think I'd prefer to try them fried rather than steamed. And one arm/section at a time on the table instead of the whole thing presented at once.