Catching the Blog Train

A conversation on the corner of 21st and 5th Ave. Someone approaches me pointing uptown, then downtown.

“Blah blah blah, hrumph?”

“I’m sorry. I don’t understand the words that are coming out of your mouth. When you talk to humans, you need to speak with detail, more specifics. That’s how humans talk. A few specifics and some adjectives are nice,” I said.

Sigh. It really wasn’t his fault. These days I feel as though I can only communicate in blog.

My name is KFCee-lo and I am the giraffe in the picture. I quietly munch on leaves, contemplate, and post a few entries on the blog throughout the week.

A natural predator of the giraffe is the lion. A slow realization is beginning to encroach on my methodical ruminations.

A lion, even one on stilts, is not a giraffe. Not only is it not a giraffe, it is out to maul you.

To my last post, Whatever commented as follows:

I hate that quote [referring to the quote from Michael Mann’s Heat], because it's such a faux-masculine thing to say; a real man stands for something; he doesn't run away like a little pussy.

Why pick on Rachel Ray? It's not like she was some progressive, revolutionary figure before she got the Dunkin Donuts endorsement deal.

In the recent past, Hyuncher, another lion in heels, has attacked me for following every comment with a comment.

I calmly explained to her that it’s because I want to start a dialogue, a discussion. I’m not trying to up the ante or be competitive in any way. Unfortunately, lions can’t believe that other creatures don’t see the world as they do--in blood and white.

Anyway, instead of following a comment with a comment, I want to follow whatever’s comment with a post in order to (a) meet my personal blog post quota and (b) because her comments deserve some analysis.

Part I

“A real man stands for something; he doesn’t run away like a little pussy.”

A few initial thoughts:

a) I don’t think rational viewers would apply the moral code in Heat to their own lives. It’s similar to people not applying the lessons of Scarface to their everyday. Granted, gangster psychology is only a hobby of mine, but I would bet people don’t really live like this. Everybody is attached to or feels strongly about something.

I could walk into any dangerous bar, in any city, with a ukelele, order a shot, and sing a song about mothers, and I can make half of the most hardened criminals weep into their mescal. For the other half, I'd have to sing about the man they left behind in prison.

What probably irks whatever about the quote is not that people falsely follow it, but rather that it’s glorified as some masculine ideal. To wit I respond, “It’s a movie.” DeNiro’s character robs banks in daylight and kills cops with huge machine guns. The quote sets up the last scene in the movie. It creates the inner conflict. DeNiro is everything people can’t do in real life. He’s fantasy as is the quote.

b)Interesting use of the phrase “little pussy.” Thinking in terms of gender, I tried to think of some male counterparts. “Don’t be a dick,” came to mind. I have used this in the context of telling someone not to be mean. I don’t think I could refer to a female as a “little pussy” after perceiving what I thought was weakness in her. I think “dick” can comfortably cross gender lines. “Pussy” doesn’t have such a visa. Why is that?

Ok. gotta do what I do for a living now.

Part II to follow: Why I pick on Rachael Ray even though she is no Nelson Mandela . . .

Rachael Ray as saint offers some interesting juxtapositions.