Picture from May's Club Meeting

Hi everyone,

Here is a picture from our last Whatever Club meeting on Monday May 17th, 2010 at Nolita House.

Eric: you missed out on a great night. We laughed, we cried, we made fun of you behind your back...

All joking aside, it was great to get together with 83.33% of the Whatever Club. I hope we can get 100% participation at the next Club Meeting.

Late Night Crowd

Does anyone know what happened around 1am, this past Saturday night/Sunday morning?

I was watching television with one window open and all of a sudden, it sounded like there were 100 people downstairs around our building.

About twenty minutes later, I heard at least one police car and bullhorn telling people to clear the area. The crowd didn't sound violent or particularly menacing, but it was still weird.

The Hidden Fortress

The Hidden Fortress by Akira Kurosawa.

Brain Pen - Coming soon?

Scientists have developed a method for reading a person's mind using brain scans.

Once it has been trained on an individual subject's thoughts, the computer model can analyse new brain scan images and work out which noun a person is thinking about - even with words that the model has never encountered before.

The model is based on the way nouns are associated in the brain with verbs such as see, hear, listen and taste.

carol is a loner.

to top off having no friends in this wonderful city, i get to sit in silence all day. in an office. with my laptop. trying to figure out how lawyers write. what a poser.

in lunch news, i tried the falafel shop a few days ago. B minus. today, i tried the vietnamese sandwich place three doors to the right. C minus. weird pressed-pork-bologna-thingy warrants the minus. i had high expectations for both but was disappointed. alas, i will have to upgrade to the farmer's market.

here are the other places i ate with my lovely family:

crabs at fisherman's warf
piccino in dogpatch
EOS in cole valley
boulange in cole
hang ah tea room dim sum in ctown
brothers korean in ?
hotei noodles in inner sunset
bambino's in cole
zazie dinner in cole

need to stop eating.

kfcman's only recommendation for me is papalote salsa. oh and to go running with the homeless on some track near my place. can any of you more resourceful friends recommend fun activities?

Hey there. Me Again.

Members, great event at the bowery mission. Yewool, I got in touch with "NO FUCKIN' CHICKEN" man recently because I forgot to mention the celery in the soup. He sends his best wishes.

Onwards. It's come to my attention that members are putting thought and effort into coming up with activities that we can do as a group.

For those initiated individuals, I wanted to put forth, as clearly as possible, what I am comfortable doing.

These are my boundaries.

These are my bright line principles. They are the lines that I will not cross.

1) I will not go camping and eat poo in the name of team building.
2) I will not . . .

Actually, that's it. I will not do number 1.

Hyuncher's in California and has promised to keep us updated through this robust and lively blog in lieu of making friends and exploring a new city.

She only asks that, in return, we make sure Croptop does not drink too much Jack Daniels by himself while listening to Torn by Natalie Imbruglia.

I will take the first shift. Who will take the subsequent ones?

Hi. Me Again.

Let's get our heads out of the Knit-Privacy-Provider-Attachment.

Spring is here and summer is fast approaching.

I was thinking it might be fun for James and me to coach the rest of the members in women’s doubles tennis this summer.

Initially, my thought was to make teams, coach, and practice all summer. Then, at the end of the summer season, we’d have a tournament, an awards ceremony, and a coach appreciation gifts presentation. My friend’s surfshop in California would have sponsored my team and I’m assuming Hennessy would have sponsored Croptop’s.

Then, I remembered that Hyuncher will be leaving for SF soon, leaving Croptop to fend for himself. A vital member of Whatever Club will be on sabbatical. Oh well, pater sancte, sic transit gloria mundi.

So let’s cut the pre-emptive mourning short and throw ourselves into revitalizing this organization as a way to cope with the impending pain.

Let’s discuss replacement/replacements, rebranding/name change, and dues.

Doctor told me . . .

When i was in elementary school, the doctor told me that I'd get fewer nosebleeds if I cut my fingernails more often. The man was right.

The Gillette Mach 3 Razor is truly the best razor on the market. Maybe the other members can enlighten me. Does shaving the pits tickle?

The little voice inside my head said that members would start posting if I gave them some room. That little dude was WRONG.

Subliminals

There is something about this picture, a je nai se qua, that makes me want to chillax in a hot tub with a beer and some korean or japanese-style fried chicken within chillaxin' reach distance.

I think I'll get some chicken soup for lunch.

Roll Call!!

Emergency Whatever Club Meeting!

Who among us is willing to bowl a few rounds and drink either protestant (Bushmill’s) or catholic (Jamesons) whiskey with me tonight in celebration of the lunar new year?

I will be in either lane 2 or 4 (the bumper lanes) with a helmet on my head and kneepads on my feet.

Call to Order

Feelin' a bit fired up! Today, I sent a little note to the Obama campaign.

As a constitutional law teacher for 11 years, I know that Sen. Obama is comfortable explaining difficult concepts.

As we hear more great speeches from Sen. Obama, will Sen. Obama consider posting short youtube videos explaining concepts such as lobbyist bundling and how lobbyist gain influence in Washington? Maybe specifics about his remarks on Pakistan? And why making all public government data available to everybody to use as they wish will foster more transparency in government and why this is good for a democracy. I know the answers but I fear many do not.

Recently, while watching the dailykos debates, Sen. Obama made a great point against “lobbyist bundling.” But I worry that most average voters will not know these terms.

I believe doing a series of these videos will not only bolster Sen. Obama’s stand on a more open democracy but educate younger voters on how politics work in Washington now so that his calls for “change” will have a deeper impact among voters.

Thank you for taking the time to read this note,
KFCee-Lo

An informal vetting of Whatever Club members revealed a green party candidate, someone "feelin’ the Hillary wave," a person who got her citizenship in college and has yet to vote, a permanent resident (you’re excused), and only two members who took the time and initiative to vote.


This is very poor form and I’m blaming myself for assuming you were registered and going to vote yesterday.

I’m going to try to assume less from now on. Do we all know how to tie our shoelaces? j/k

If you have any registered democrats in Texas or Ohio be sure to get on them about voting in their primaries because those will be battleground states for the democratic nomination.

The First Rule of Whatever Club

Immaculate Heart College Art Department Rules. These were written by Sister Corita.


I like rules 5, 6, 7, and 8.

I sense that members are getting so excited about the upcoming decathlon that everybody is at a complete loss for words.

Enjoy that feeling as you would a stick of juicy fruit.

Embers of Competition

In recent riveting club news, Croptop and I beat the computer in virtua doubles tennis yesterday. It only took us a month of nightly play and a solid 1.5 hour session yesterday to beat the game. Something about virtua tennis brings out the sibling cattiness in each other. But at the end of the day, after the last championship point, we gave each other goofy grins and a high-five.

After the game, Hyuncher said that we gab like “girls” which is the main reason why I’m not talking to her. To paraphrase the words of Inigo Montoya, I do not think that word means what she think it means. Dyuncher thinks she’s all that. Can’t even begin to like guess why. I really hope Heidi and Lauren become friends again.

January is flying by with only six, nay, seven posts by me. I’m sorry to let you down. But to make up for it with interest, I’ll organize our next meeting.

It’s going to be a decathlon, a ten event competition. James and I will be opposing coaches. And the rest of you will know soon which team you are on. You will also receive a list of events ranging from sudoku to east river distance swimming in which we will all compete.

Thank you and Good Luck.

Auf Wiedersehen!

January 22, 2005

Congrats Hyuncher and Croptop!!
Never lose focus!!
Thanks for being more entertaining than 3D Cirque de Soleil on IMAX.

February 3, in the year of our lord, 2007

This is my life at work right now. All day, I sing "Swing low, Sweet Chariot" in the deepest voice I can muster and make wire sculptures representing my lot in life.
The email from this morning reminded me of the following video. Some of the interview clips were from outside of the bar where we celebrated Hyemoon's birthday.

I regret not getting Hyemoon on tape that night. Hyemoon, be prepared to go on-camera this time around.



Also, your opinion on the following would be much appreciated.

I'm thinking about making something similar to this and giving it to a friend's baby. I personally think it'll be good for the baby in terms of imagination and cultivating a sense of magical realism. Is this a good idea? I'm thinking that by giving the baby a stuffed bird with the head of a dog at an early enough age, she will grow up to think of earth shattering ideas such as the brain pen.

For those who have heard croptop's brain pen theory, I learned the other night that since I assumed the brain pen would write in words, I don't understand the concept at all.


I like soggy McDonald's fries more than the small crispy bits.

An Amazing Thing Happened . . .

On the way to work this morning, Croptop and I walked by the new public pay toilet at Madison Square Park. From a design and function point of view, I think it is way too technical.

There are too many parts and too many instructions for what should be a simple task.

There are three lights outside the structure and an elevator type door. The thing disinfects itself after every use. And from further research, I learned that one quarter gets you fifteen minutes.

That’s way too long for one toilet. There should be a doorbell to get people to hurry up. Also, 15 minutes is enough time for two rockstars (crackheads) and a square (I-banker from credit Suisse) to go in there and have a little party.

The man inside came out to both of us standing there with expectant looks on our faces. There was also a man with a camera taking pictures, and a man in a van with a laptop in charge of maintaining the toilet. Croptop asked him how it was and the patron said, “Eh, it was, it was cold.”

As I peeked my head in as the door was sliding shut (lawsuit potential), I saw the toilet start to retract into the wall. I was about to take a quick sniff to gauge how sanitary it was but remembered that the red light had been on for a long time.

Croptop wanted to put in a quarter and check it out with me. But I was late to work and I refuse to fall for that trick again.

Our Daily Bread

If I had never heard of “apples,” and someone offered me a choice between something called a “Fuji” and a “Granny Smith,” I would choose “Fuji” because I like sushi and I would hesitate to put my lips onto something called “Granny Smith.”

And, therein, lies the power of words and branding.

Similarly, if I had never heard of "fish" before, I would pause before trying something called "fish assholes."

Welcome to Dorkbook

I'm game for the movie and graphic novel. One and a half hours for the movie and an hour to read a graphic novel. I think I can do these things by the end of the year.

I also like the idea of getting together to make authentic scottish kilts for all of us. The obvious next step for the club are uniforms.

I'm not too keen on the belt buckle or the white schoolboy socks with the bookmark tucked into them. The leather pouch is awesome though. The pouches are necessary to hold our gummy bear juice.

okok.

i won't insist on meeting in honor of a belated birthday. we will look to the future -- even though kfc-lo and whatever have done their job in making me feel guilty (and bossy). anyway, i will apologize and move forward. (sorry, wool! finals got the worst of me.) oh and last comment regarding birthdays -- i would rather celebrate any landmark number of times i've clipped my toenails than kfc-lo's 1/3 birthday. moving on . . .

this year, i vote that we attempt to watch one movie, read one skinny book (graphic novel?) and make one outfit each for croptop and kfc-lo to wear while walking dora together. and of course, stuff our faces while doing all of the above. when i told kfc-lo that i would make a-line skirts for all of us for simplicity's sake he insisted on a kilt in the standard scottish plaid. i will oblige. although i don't know where to buy those monster safety pins.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Y Tu, Friendo?

I’m glad that I didn’t write the first post of the new year. This bodes well for the future of the club/blog. I don’t want to get my hopes up too much but I can’t help but feel optimistic. There is a possible flurry of participation around the corner.

Initial Thought on Birthday Meeting

No.

Please don’t misunderstand. I’m always game for a birthday gathering when it’s within, give or take, a week from the actual birthday.

Celebrating Yewool’s birthday a solid month later seems indulgent, no? And I know Yewool’s evil stepmother didn’t raise no Cinderella. Ya dig?

That being said, please keep Feb. 1 and April 1 open this year. I’m going to be celebrating my 1/3 birthday and half birthday, respectively.

I keed about my fractional birthdays.

No birthday meetings a month later. Even Indian weddings don’t last longer than two weeks. It’s the principle. It’s obviously not the person.

Yewool’s rad. She’s got a nice smile and a nice sing-songy voice. She’s abrupt about offering suggestions for places to meet up which shows excellent plan implementation skills. But nyet on the birthday meeting. Let's meet with some other common purpose.

Sidenotes: I personally can vouch for Croptop having a valid excuse for missing Yewool’s party. He was really tired that night from working at his parents’ store. So tired, in fact, that he couldn’t squirm out of the extended hug I greeted him with that particular December evening.

Hyuncher, on the other hand, had to take a study from breaking that evening.

Simple Solutions

The best ideas are often the simplest ones. I believe god said that when he invented evolution.

I took the same approach upon reading about whatever and hyuncher’s seating dilemma.

Why couldn’t either of you have offered to hold the random person’s crying baby for the rest of the flight? Man goes back to traded seat. Random person can rest. And Hyuncher and Whatever now have a softer foot rest for their huge platypus feet.

Thank you. Little problem solved. And is it any surprise that my bosses lament the fact that they can’t pay me more?

Whatever Club is open for business.